Went out on Friday to run some errands, i.e. get my currency for my trip to America two weeks from now, get the new Gears of War novel, and a new charge cable for my 360 as my current one is knackered. After doing them I was over at Teesside Park, which is a large shopping park with loads of shops, one of them being Borders where I got the book.

Anyway, I had $300 of US currency in my bag, along with a pre-paid card with another $700, I had a charge cable for an American games console, as well as a bag from Borders, a US owned company, and while I was in Borders, I got a caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks. This caused me to have a minor cultural crisis questioning Britishness and my own cultural identity, and even my geographical location! Immediately I asked a random passer-by to say something British to confirm where I was.

“Go away you wanker.”

Yep, passive aggressiveness with a curse word thrown in. That’s British all right!

So I’m gonna start trying to fill up space on the weekly updates again, and here’s my first stupid though. I’m watching the awesome Firefly again and for some reason I noted there are nine main characters, just like there are nine classes in Team Fortress 2 and amazingly I think there are at least half of those classes that suit the skills and personalities a of of the Firefly cast perfectly. I’m going to go in no particular order save the easiest ones to identify first.

Malcolm Reynolds – The Solider:

Bit of an obvious one this. Mal is a soldier through and through that has never stopped fighting his war. I get the feeling if the TF2 soldier didn’t have anyone to fight, he’d end up in bars trying to find someone as well.

Jayne Cobb – The Heavy:

Probably the most obvious choice here. They’re both big, dumb (yet surprisingly cunning and like they’re guns. Jayne also likes his food like the Heavy likes his Sandvich.

Simon Tamm – The Medic:

Again, easy one, he’s a doctor and doesn’t fight if he can avoid it. The medic is mostly for support and has really shit offensive weapons.

River Tamm – The Pyro:

A bit more esoteric this next one, but bear with me on this. Both of them speak unintelligibly and are incredibly fucking dangerous if you get too close.

Inara Serra – The Spy:

Essentially she performs the role of the ambassador for the Firefly team, infiltrating the upper ranks of high society , or “the other team” to get information, but isn’t above violence herself. Never used a knife though, and I can’t see the Spy pulling out a bow and arrow.

Kaylee Frye – The Engineer:

Obvious again. She loves machines more than most people, same goes for the Engineer. Both kind of passive aggressive in their own ways as well, Kaylee with the sly digs at people that upset her, Enginner with building turrets to kill things for him.

Zoe Washburne – The Sniper:

A bit of a tougher one this but it works, they both are professional and show very little emotion. Sure Jayne’s probably a better shot, but nowhere near as cold and calculating as Zoey can be. Plus I think she’d look rather dapper in that hat.

Hoban “Wash” Washburne – The Scout:

Two reasons, they’re both the funniest characters and the least dominating from a purely physical standpoint. Plus I always get the feeling Wash would go snooker loopy if pushed hard enough.

Derrial Book – The Demoman:

This seems to be a case of “these were the only ones left, but they’re both black so it fits,” and while that’s partly true there’s also the fact that they;re both dedicated individuals, Book to religion and his morals, the Demoman being dedicated to blowing shit up. Plus there’s more to both of them than initially meets the eye. East has this theory about Book’s background which makes him quote interesting, and the black Scottish Cyclops must have one hell of a story to tell.