Now thatis out of the way, on to the update proper!

Transformers: The Review. THERE BE SPOILERS.

I saw the film when it first came out in the US on a download, and enjoyed it a lot, but as we all know it’s just not the same. I had long ago decided to see it at the cinema, and I would recommend the same to anyone. This movie simply has to be experienced properly. When I saw the movie at the cinema, it was like seeing it for the first time, and I was very impressed. .

Where to begin though, well I guess we’ll start with Sam Witwicky. Shia LeBoeuf has played a good human Transformers character! He’s witty and funny, and most importantly, likeable! Right from the beginning of the film he makes you chuckle and you really feel for him. Hell I even wanted him to get the slightly slutty Mikaela. His interaction with the Transformers themselves is brilliant, he craps himself when he first sees Bumblebee, and is realistically terrified when Barricade interrogates him, and is awestruck when Prime turns up. Honestly he’s perfect in this role. The other human characters also did well, but it’s Sam that really steals the show for me (though Simmons is hilarious, crazy bastard). .

The Transformers themselves look fantastic, and I honestly I can see these guys winning the film the best special effects Oscar by themselves, and that’s before they get into battle. The battle scenes are very well done, for the most part, but since Bay doesn’t know what the fuck a wide shot is it can be a little difficult to keep track, but not overly so. Blackout’s initial attack on the military base was brilliant as well, as this giant Decepticon pretty much tears it to pieces it just shows how powerful these things can be. I also liked the Scorponok’s ambush on the soldiers after they survived the initial base attack and ESPECIALLY Starscream taking on an entire squadron of F-22’s and killing most of them in five seconds, and then fooling the remainder by taking a hit from one of them, transforming into robot mode in mid-air once again, destroying the one that hit him then damaging his wingman just enough for it to trail smoke, before shifting back into his own F-22 mode and hiding amongst the another set that had just turned up, fooling them into thinking he’s one of them. It’s a great quick scene and suggests something about the subsequent attack on Megatron by a squadron of F-22’s (though that’s purely fan speculation and I doubt it).Also, Optimus Prime and Megatron’s battle was brilliant. .

Another thing that’s brilliant about this film is the comedy, it’s genuinely funny when it try’s to be. As I said already Sam is witty and funny and put this talent to good use, also Bernie Mac as the car dealer that sells Bumblebee to him is worth a chuckle or two as well. I don’t find Bernie, as a comedian, funny at all, but the lines the writers gave him were pulled off well. Also, yes I found the scene with the Autobots in the garden, hiding from Sam’s Dad hilarious. I know a lot of the comedy in this is silly slapstick, but if something is funny, I laugh. Doesn’t matter if it’s a highbrow piece of witticism or just a ludicrous situation, such a giant robots trying to hide in a suburban garden, if it’s funny it’s funny. Though I must admit I did cringe a bit when Bumblebee pissed on Simmons, though curiously I found the scene it referred to (Sam’s pet dog Mojo pissing on Ironhide) quite funny. .

The thing that wasn’t so great about the Transformers was their character development. Bumblebee, Prime, Megatron and Frenzy are the only ones that get any at all, and while it was enough for them, the rest got shafted, especially Jazz who gets killed by Megatron towards the end, not that Prime seemed to mind much. Frenzy is brilliant though, he’s a jabbering psychopath who, while escaping Air Force One, still manages to take the piss out of the humans when he really should be getting the hell out of dodge. Out of the other Decepticons, only Starscream gets any character development, and it’s minimal in the extreme. He leads them, Megatron turns up, he gets two lines, does some fighting, then is the last Decepticon standing (well aside from Scorponok, and possible Barricade who was conspicuously absent from the final battle despite being in the Decepticon convoy) and buggers off into Space…possibly to get reinforcements. I’m glad my favourite character survives, just wish he had gotten more development. .

Another odd bit was the “hacker” storyline which felt very much tacked on. Did we really need to see all of that? Sam and Mikaela were needed for the story. The soldiers were a good addition and were needed for the movie to have a military angle, but the hackers not so much. It kind of just started and didn’t really go anywhere, and quite frankly I couldn’t really give a crap about what happened to them. There’s also a few plot holes (like Barricade’s aforementioned disappearance) but nothing movie destroying. .

Overall though I was very well impressed, it could have been improved in a few areas but it was an honest to goodness entertaining and enjoyable film that I will be waiting for on DVD with baited breath. If I had to assign an arbitrary score to it, I’d give it a solid 8 out of 10.

But since I got back from a two hour Metallica tribute band very late and was knackered, I slept instead. Yes I know I’m selfish.