(Virus: Comic will be up later today, hopefully. My fault, that. But I had discussed the possibility with Silv in advance. It’s just that alternate weekends aren’t especially good for me, and I knew it might delay the drawing of the thing until Sunday night/Monday, which wouldn’t leave Silv as much time to colour. Drawing ended up not getting finished till late monday (mostly due to rampant procrastination, admittedly).

Anyways, we may or may not switch to Wednesday updates soon. Maybe pushing the Friday one back to Saturday. Buuut we’ll see how it goes. We now return you to your scheduled Lothar rant, already in progress.)

Before I start, I have one new piece of fan art I need to put up, and I need to update the fan art page with the work from last Friday, I’m not doing it now as it is past midnight as I am writing this and I need my fucking sleep damnit! Anyway, on with me talking a load of bollocks!

Natural selection needs a helping hand.

Last week, one of the UK’s most popular (and my most hated) newspaper The Daily Mail newspaper printed another story about videogames. The UK readers who are into games will know that the Daily Mail HATES games, they’ll do anything to try to convince you that GTA will cause your 3 year old to change his name to Damien and then start eating the dog’s face. Surprisingly this wasn’t the case with this article. It told the story of a 12 year old kid who didn’t do his homework, so his mother took his Playstation away. What did the kid do? In an attempt to grab attention he HUNG HIMSELF AND DIED.

Now, I will admit that it is an absolute tragedy when a child dies, but let’s face it; it was probably just the theory of natural selection at work (also known as survival of the fittest) which is usually accredited to Darwin. If you don’t know the theory, let me dumb it down enough so Britney Spears can understand…actually no, I don’t think I can make myself that mentally retarded.

According to Wikiepedia “The basic concept of natural selection is that conditions (or “nature”) determine (or “select”) how well particular traits of organisms can serve the survival and reproduction of the organism; organisms lacking these traits might die before reproducing”. This basically means that if a species does not change and keep doing stupid things, they will die.

Now, humanity as a whole has faired pretty well through this, but it seems that some members of our species were born without a fully functional frontal lobe, and as such they will die quickly as evidenced by the child dying because of ENOURMOUS STUPIDITY. OK I am gonna be catching a LOT of flack for this I realize but before I get any angry e-mails, think about it. How incredibly stupid must the kid have been to try something like that? Apparently his mothers boyfriend/his father (I barely remember the article and I can’t be arsed looking on the forums I saw it on) tried to end his life in a similar fashion and he saw it as a good way of getting attention, but how difficult is it to explain your spawn that hanging yourself is BAD? Surely somebody must have mentioned this to the child ONCE in his life and if not? Well let’s hope his mum doesn’t have anymore kids.

Now natural selection is fair enough, but it’s too slow. We need to get rid of the idiots who pollute our gene-pool NOW. And to affect this admittedly radical stratagem I have devised the “NATURAL SELECTION TEST.”

Basically, it works like this, when people reach the age of 18 and if they are of sound mind and body, they will be taken to a special building in Wales which is made up of nothing but rooms that contain a gun on a pedestal in the centre. They will then be told to stand in front of the gun. If they do, they will be shot in the head and their lifeless corpse will be disposed of quickly and efficiently. Their families will then be told that their kin was a bloody idiot. The people who use their fully functional frontal lobes and DON’T stand in front of the gun will be released and rewarded with £10,000 cash.

You have to admit, it would solve a lot of the world’s problems. If this was in force during the last 40 years, Jean-Claude Van Damme would be DEAD.