I have a rant, but I’m too tired to type it up. Come back later…maybe.

Edit: I have a short rant, in the form of a letter to Sonic Team.

Dear Sonic Team.

I played your new Sonic Riders at work today, and gave up after 3 minutes. Basically, you made cross between F-Zero (great) and SSX (pretty good), except you somehow stuck those two games together and came up with something that had elements of both, but none of the things that made them fun.

Also, STOP MAKING CHARACTERS THAT ARE EXACTLY THE BLOODY SAME AS THE ONES YOU ALREADY HAVE. That Jet the Hawk guy, first time I saw a screenshot of the game with him in it, I had no idea what the hell he was. He’s green, spiky and looks vaguely like Sonic, so I assumed it was another bloody hedgehog. Oh wait, he’s a bird? Without the beak nobody could tell. What makes him so differant from Sonic? Oh he’s fast, and spiky, so nothing then.

Lets have a look at all the Sonic characters that have appeared in games as playable characters (even if it’s just the multiplayer portions) since Sonic Adventure.

Sonic the Hedgehog.
Tails.
Knuckles the Echidna.
Amy Rose.
Cream the Rabbit.
Shadow the Hedgehog.
Blaze the Cat.
Jet the Hawk.
Wave the Swallow.
Storm the Albatross.
Omega.
Gamma.
Metal Sonic.
Big the Cat.
Espio the Chameleon.
Vector the Crocodile.
Charmy Bee.
Rouge the Bat.
Tikal.
Chaos.

Every single one of those characters, with the exception of Big, who never appeared in anything after Sonic adventure, and Gamma who appeared in Sonic Battle, which was shit, have the exact same abilities as the three core playable characters. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles.

Now honestly, what the fuck is the point in having EIGHTEEN characters that all fill the same roles? Oh I know, it’s so you can add longevity to your games, not by making more levels, but by FORCING your fans to play through the same fucking levels again and again. For God’s sake you even made us do that in Shadow the Hedgehog, which only had ONE playable character.

Stop creating new characters just because you’re too fucking lazy to make more than ten levels for each game you twats. And come up with a new bloody plot device other than the Chaos Emeralds while you’re at it.

Yours angrily, Lothar Hex.