This is our first guest comic, produced by Thomas K. Dye of Newshounds and a personal favourite of mine Something Happens. What the hell such a recognised and accomplished artist/writer as himself is doing reading our shit I’ll never know. Also, HOW COME WE NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS!? Though technically Father Ted is Irish rather than British, yes, that’ll do as an excuse.

We also have some new fan art by Michelle. An excellent piece by the name of It’s A Fucking Undead. Thanks to Kevin and Michelle for providing content so WE don’t have to.

Speaking of which, we’re still looking for some more guest comics. If you make one please send it to .

Also, METAL GEAR SOLID 2 SUCKED ALL THE FUN OUT OF MY FUCKING DAY!

Yes I know I’m SEVERAL years late to be moaning about it, but still.

I saw Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty for 4 quid in my local Gamestation and picked it up. I did this because, despite me not liking stealth games, I always wanted a go. Oh what a mistake that was.

Let me explain my reasoning. I hate stealth games, with a passion, games that have a stealth section in them I can handle (even if they are just shoe-horned in for no other reason than to say “HEY WE GOT STEALTH IN IT” on the box) but the storyline has always interested me, and I quite like Solid Snake as a character. And honestly it seems like one of those games you have to play before you form an opinion of it.

But as a game…EURGH. I had to restart the fucking thing three times because of that bullshit “This is your first time playing so tell us what you know” bullshit…which caused me to go STRAIGHT to the bloody Big Shell bit and miss the Tanker bit entirely. So restarted, tried it again, go to the tanker. Then didn’t like how the controls were set…can I change them in the pause menu? NO! Restart and finally get under way, skip the 15 minute bloody cut-scene and start FINALLY. Wandered around, shot some people in the back of the head. Had the gun fight with Olga (hairy pits and all) and decided that I haven’t enjoyed the game at all.

There are multiple reasons I don’t like it. As I previously stated I do NOT like stealth games. But this takes the piss. Fixed point cameras work in some games, but not where you’ve got to be aware of your environment. And why is pressing myself against a wall and peering around a corner such a farce? I have to press stick against the wall, keep it there, then move, and have to press another button to look? And am I missing something or is there no way to aim your gun while doing that? Oh I have to press more buttons so I can go into first person mode? Christ, I know this game is a few years old but why are the controls so absolutely fucking awkward?

Also, somebody just let Hideo Kojima direct a film, that’s what he really wants to do anyway. That way I won’t have to go through 20 minutes of cutscenes for 5 minutes of gameplay. That’s the thing, this story would make a brilliant film, but it’s just ruined by horrible game design. And don’t bloody e-mail me arguing. This is an opinion of a subjective topic, so it’s pointless to e-mail me telling me I am wrong. If I was wrong about anything in Metal Gear Solid 2, it was thinking it’d be worth £4. And no I’m not going back to it, I played that game for about an hour (probably more if you count the restarts) and I didn’t make me want to continue.