Yeah I know I said that Silv would be doing comics on a Tuesday, but he got caught up with University work. So instead we bring you filler, this comic originally appeared in Gamestyle’s downloadable magazine “Gamestyle Offline” but we needed filler so here it is.
On another note, can somebody explain to me why my new Nokia mobile phone DOSEN’T HAVE ONE SINGLE FUCKING NORMAL RINGTONE IN THEM AT ALL? Oh no, I have the fucking William Tell overture (in crappy “beep” format), a techno ring tone and fucking Tchaikovsky (chances of this being spelt right are 1/2000). Why can’t I get a normal bloody ring tone? I don’t want my phone to beep out a shite version of Beethoven’s 5th symphony, I want it to tell me when somebody is calling me!
And while I’m on the subject of Beethoven, Mozart and Tchaikovsky, why the hell do you never get any famous 16th/17th century composers with names like “Robert Jones”. Was having a stupid name a requirement for the job back then? I can just imagine Tchaikovsky going to the Job Centre…:
Desk Clerk: Ok sir, how may I help you?
Tchaikovsky: Yes I’ve just graduated from law school, top of my class and with a 100% average grade. I just need someone to point me in the right direction to a highly successful career chasing ambulances and making people lie in court about whiplash. It’s a funny thing whiplash, does anybody ever really have it?
Desk Clerk: Well that should be no problem, let me just enter your data into our system, which consists of a typewriter and several miles of entrails from dead chimps. Name?
Tchaikovsky: Piotr Tchaikovsky.
Desk Clerk: I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you a job as a lawyer with a name like that.
Tchaikovsky: What do you mean? I spent 6 years of my life looking up laws such as it being perfectly legal for a woman to work in a tropical fish bar topless in Liverpool! (Actual law, no really look it up) I was going to retire there!
Desk Clerk: I’m sorry but with your name I’m afraid the only job available is “Famous Dead Composers”. Here’s your application form, have a nice day.
Tchaikovsky: I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS DESK CLERK! IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!
And thus began the career of Tchaikovsky, while the Desk Clerk died 30 years later in an all female orgy after slipping on a tube of lubricant, knocking himself unconscious and landing in the pool of maple syrup. Everybody at the funeral was extremely jealous.