Bah dah dah dahdaaaaaah! They’re hating it!
Can somebody explain this to me? Basically it’s an article about a 14 year old kid stabbing a pizza shop worker over not getting a pizza for £1 an hour after the offer ended. And is claiming he did it in self-defence.
Does anybody speak lawyer-ese out there who can explain that to me? How the hell will somebody be able to stand up in court and say with a straight face “this 14 year old psycho nut job chav stabbed an innocent bloke in self defence”?
Judge: What the fuck was he defending against?
Lawyer: The pizza guy was threatening his life your honour.
Judge: How exactly?
Lawyer: See, he was stopping the defendant from acquiring pizza. Pizza is food, we humans need food to live. Thereby the pizza guy was threatening my client’s life by denying access to the food.
Judge: Are you high?
Lawyer: Quite possibly Mrs Flintstone.
Actually it kind of reminds me of the whole “Weapons of Mass Destruction” fiasco in Iraq. You know, where Bush and Blair said that Saddam had them, and it’s been like what? Two years and we’ve found fuck all? And then they said “yeah we MAY have lied about that”. I swear if it was any other president they would have gotten impeached by now because of that. I mean Nixon got thrown out because he bugged some offices, Bush lies about his reasons for going to Iraq, gets hundreds of US and British troops killed and he gets re-elected. When the fuck did we all move to crazy world? Probably after 9/11, because the world is so fucking paranoid we’ll let any idiot tell us what to do as long as he panders to our fears. Maybe it’s because Bush is from Texas, and ergo a cowboy. People must think “Hey the Lone Ranger was a cowboy and he saved people, lets vote for Bush!” I wonder if Clinton had kept his dick in his trousers this whole thing could have been avoided or better yet, solved in a way that didn’t involve lying out of his arse. Oh wait, every single politician does that anyway! They’re all fucking lying sacks of crap!
You know what? Anarchism keeps looking better and better.
And you know what else? Fuck this rant, it’s gone totally off topic and I can’t even remember what my point was going to be, all I know is that I’m flipping a coin between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats in this years election, cos like FUCK am I voting for Tony Blair’s Labour Party. Goodnight.