#091 – Newspapers Smoozepapers
You are not special of unique. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world
Something like that. I haven’t seen Fight Club in about a year, so I may be off a bit. But that basically covers my experiences in the World of Warcraft.
Before I begin, Lothar mentioned something to me about guest comics. ‘pparently Virus is buggering off to sunnier climates for a fortnight, and Silv (Understandably) doesn’t want to work like a devil trying to get two comics up a week. Something to do with human rights, and how I’m not supposed to beat the artist, or starve the artist, or sing off key whilst the artist is trying to sleep. Anyway, we need you, the great unwashed, to give us guest comics. Actual comics. If you send a sprite comic I’ll gut you. Or I won’t. Who knows?
So, if you’ve a glimmer of artistic ability and want to do something vaguely productive, e-mail them to Lothar at lotharhex@gmail.com with a 802 pixel (High) by 604 pixel (Wide) png, jpg, or gif. Also, because Lothar is nagging me to add yet more specifications as I’m trying to update this, needs to be your own work. Or something.
Also, we reserve the right to not upload your comic and mock it behind your back. So try and do your best. If possible, submit the comics to Lothar by the 26th of March, though if it’s a couple of days late it’ll still be considered And now, back to my rant on World of Warcraft.
Edit: More details can be found at this topic on our forums. – Lothar
In essence, the game explains to you that no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, there will be someone better than you. You can seek out almighty weapons, amazing armour or remarkable artefacts of arcane l33tn355, but some smug bastard with a mount will always outdo you. And charge twice as much at the Auction House.
It’s simple. Unless you spend every hour of every day since release playing the game, you will be a nobody. You will not be able to go around in that tricked out armour, mounts, glowy weapons or carrying funky items like the +1 Ring, often found in rivers. It’s precious. Yesss. My preciousss. You can’t have it, feelthy fat hobbitses! Trying to shteal the preciuousss!
Quite. But it’s somewhat aggravating, as you’re running away from a level 20 crocolisk, some smug level 55 arsehole saunters along on his horse, laughes, then trots away. But I guess the upside is that whilst I may be a mere level 20 Rogue, with my unenchanted weapons and mere 2 Gold pieces, I have a social life. Okay, that’s a lie, since the reason why this newspost is so poor is because I spent most of time I allotted for it playing WoW. I don’t. But I tend to go outside and see the sun, as well as having a job and a fulltime education. I don’t have the time, nor the sanity to spend my entire day playing this fictional world, where a ninja midget with an annoying voice gets chased by Fishmen, Bearmen, Hyenamen, SnakeyFishmen, MenMen and… spiders. Really fucking big spiders. Spiders the size of houses. Really.
But beyond this digital world of wonder, merriment and elf chicks who don’t wear nearly enough, you have people out there who seem to think they’re unique. Which I find amusing.
Now, I’m not unique. Or special. There are plenty of lazy, cynical geeks out there. I don’t think I am, I doubt I ever will be. I don’t try and stand out from the crowd and thus make myself look like a pillock. Kinda like wannabe Goths, who amuse me to no end. But hey, that’s life. But it’s like, they somehow think they’re better because they’re unique. But they’re not, they’re just like every other unique person – Dressed like a prat, listening to god-awful music and subscribes to laughable political doctrines simply to be different. And for what? To delude themselves that they will somehow lead a special, amazing life because they’re a rEbEl aGaInSt THE MAN!!! Give it ten years and they’ll be in some dead end office job with a mortgage and sensible haircuts.
Yes, this is a crappy rant. I had a far more amusing one about why I tend to be The Other Guy compared to Lothar, involving a hilarious doodle of my History teacher, the sinister Brian The Taskmaster. But I was playing WoW. It’s like crack. Crack that slaps you n the face and calls you a bitch. And you like it.
- Eastwood, look for Whiplash or Vladson on Terenas EU. Give them your money.