Kay, time’s up, no longer accepting entries. We’ve picked a few out, we’ll post em daily for a bit. Today’s is by Veemon Kamiya.

It’s been hard to choose, because there’s been so many fantastic… -ally bad entries. Okay, I guess it’s a pretty hard thing to do. I can’t really come up with better. But a few points: first, when I said ‘properly compressed’, I meant like, jpeg or something. Not zip file. Ye gods. Second, here is a link some of you may find useful. It is our cast page. It tells you important details about the cast. Details such as their friggin names. There’s only four of em to remember for gods’ sakes. And it’s not like they all look the same, like four different hedgehog recolours or something. You do read the comic, don’t you? Do you read the comic? Or did you just surf in accidentally from some other site and go ‘Ooh! Caption contest!”?

Anyways, I have something vaguely rant-shaped here. Was gonna post it last week, provide an alternate source of bile while Lothar was out of the country, but never really got round to it due to mind-bending bouts of frustrated rage at a comic that took far too fucking long (in something of an art block, have been for several weeks, hence the desire for a break). It’s rather short. It’s about pop music:

Let’s not beat about the proverbial. Pop music these days is shit. I mean, being predominantly punk, I tend to hate all pop on basic principle anyway. I’ve been listening to They Might Be Giants of late though, and while they’re quite poppy, they’re also quite awesome. But really: these days? Shit. There tends to be a radio on in the stock room at work, so I have this stuff inflicted on me now, whereas previously I could remain blissful in ignorance.

In years past, I might’ve heard a song and thought it sounded pretty good, quite catchy, enough to at least warrant a download. Wouldn’t buy a single, mind. Haven’t bought a single for a looong time. Don’t want to encourage them. Anyways, such a song, after a few listens, gets boring quickly. This is because pop music, almost by definition, has an initial, first-listen appeal, but no real substance. Pop music is like a sugary treat; it can be quite tasty, but isn’t filling, and you’re much better off having something more substantial and satisfying. And it’s bad for you. Gives you cavities. And… cancer. Listening to pop music gives you cancer. I think we’ve moved away from the simile now though and into the territory of wild hyperbolic claims.

Still though, all that is rather moot when you realise that today’s pop music doesn’t have intitial, first-listen appeal; in fact it has no appeal at all, because it’s absolute garbage. Monotonous, repetitive garbage. The only reason a song might get stuck in your head is not because it has a likeable catchy tune, but because the chorus consists of two sentences which are repeated over and over again until the words are engraved upon your auditory cortex. I’m looking at you Razorlight – yes, he will remember in the morning, because you’ve repeated it so many times it’s impossible to forget; and especially you The Automatic – YES! It’s a fucking MONSTER! It’s coming over the hill to RAPE you with its myriad tentacles in every conceivable orifice until you DIE. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!<

Love, luck and lollipops!
-V