Exterminatus Now -

#117 – Our Base Is Cliché Proof

September 9th, 2005 | by Lothar

Just to point out, this comic was written by Virus, all kudos go to him.

No real rant today, as I can’t be arsed so I’m just gonna copy and paste an LJ entry here. But first, here’s some new fan-art from Cailen Crow, starting himself and our newest character, Jamilla, enjoy, and now the rant.

I FUCKING HATE THOSE XBOX LIVE HEADSETS! EVERY DAMN YEAR THE LITTLE SHITTY BIT OF PLASTIC THAT HOLDS IT ON TO THE HEADPIECE SNAPS BECAUSE I DARE TO PICK THE DAMN THING UP! ARGH! AND BECAUSE OF THEIR DAMN STUPID DESIGN YOU CAN’T TAPE IT SECURELY, AND THE ONLY SUPERGLUE IN THE HOUSE IS THIS SHITTY STUFF FROM POUNDLAND THAT TAKES 50 MILLION YEARS TO DRY UNLESS IT COMES IN CONTACT WITH YOUR SKIN, WHICH CAUSES IT TO DRY INSTANTLY! I JUST RIPPED THE ENTIRE HEADSET APART IN A RAGE AND LIKE FUCK AM I BUYING ANOTHER ONE UNTIL I GET PAID (or another Live kit for another year’s subscription).

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT, YOU KNEW DAMN WELL THESE THINGS WERE EASY TO BREAK WHEN YOU DESIGNED THEM YOU FUCKERS! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!

After writing this, I bit off the top of the microphone. Me, anger management issues? Nonononononono.

More fan art.

September 4th, 2005 | by Virus

‘Lothar in Wonderland’ by Hana Younes, which I found rather amusing. And ‘Lothar’s 5th Element Audition’ by Drew Gilbert which I found rather confusing. Oh well.

Yeah, it’s been a long enough wait, I know. Here’s yer comic.

September 3rd, 2005 | by Silversword

No, it’s not shaded. It may be, eventually, but it’s hard enough for me to get anything done as it is right now.

Anybody who has a problem with that is cordially invited to bite me.

#116 – Hang On, I Think You Forgot Your Dignity

September 2nd, 2005 | by Lothar

Too tired, had rant about mothers who drive 4×4 off-road vehicles to do the DAMN WEEKLY SHOPPING! YOU FUCKERS! WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A CAR TALLER THAN YOUR FUCKING FRONT DOOR TO PICK UP A LOAF OF BREAD? I HOPE YOU ALL FUCKING CHOKE TO DEATH ON THE C02 EMISSIONS!

But I’m knackered and I am just going to post the fan art instead. First up is Captain Spell-check by Spring. This is followed by Lothar + Book by Dragen Eyez, who I suggest has a nice long talk with Captain Spell-check.

Right, sleep time, enjoy the comic.

Jesus, another update.

August 30th, 2005 | by Eastwood

If you want the funny stuff scroll down to the bottom.

By now, you’ve no doubt noticed the fact some clueless excuse for a human being thought it’d be ever so clever to steal EN, not alter it in any way, and have it posted on some small internet forum and claim it as their own. You haven’t? Well, dear meaty bag of organs, check the last comic for my timely update on them.
But to keep abreast on the (Now admittedly resolved) issue, I’ve compiled a list of fine topics upon our forum for you read should you feel you need to update yourself on this matter. If you don’t, then don’t bother. Go scare yourself half to death on Madness, or laugh along as Exu wonders at the sheer stupidity of The Sun.

Right, enough silliness, here are the topics you should look up if you want to know more about The Dickhead Duo who appear to have gotten horny over stealing other peoples hard work for their own selfish gain.
Shadow- copyright infringement, or something of the sort – The original topic that brought the news to our attention.
“Shadow’s” email – Lothar uncovers the other e-mail of the Dickhead Duo, leading to a hilarious outcome. Bavarian Midget Goat Porn Mailing Lists FTW.
Conversation with Shadow – Lothar attempts to communicate with the apparent brains of the outfit (I tried, but he blocked me and/or fled my presence), including the justification of the foul crime.

Right. That’s it. Go away.

Eastwood ~ There is no funny. I lied. Go away.

Filler: Can’t Draw For Toffee

August 26th, 2005 | by Eastwood

Right, Virus is having some problems, hence the lack of good comic. If you feel like letting us know how poor todays comic is, stab yourself in the eye with a fork as I’m late for work just so you can have a fecking comic.

Regardless, if you want something to sate your comic-lust, go read this. There’s around 2,000 strips, so it should keep you entertained.

Okay, shaded.

August 25th, 2005 | by Virus

Ctrl+refresh if you don’t see it. Also yet more shady dealings. (‘Shady’ in an ‘another old comic shaded’ sense, rather than a ‘dumbshit plagiarism’ sense. You have major issues if gaining praise for other people’s work makes you feel good about yourself. Seriously.)

Hey look a new tertiary character

August 24th, 2005 | by Lothar

NO SHE WILL NOT BE JOINING THE GUYS AS A 5TH MEMBER OF THE EN CREW BEFORE ANY OF YOU ASK!

Yes fan art still needs updating, but I really can’t be arsed. Might do it tomorrow. But in the mean-time KEEP VOTING FOR US! PSY’S GARDEN CHASE DRIVE IS CATCHING UP, DO NOT LET THEM CLAIM THE #2 SPOT OR I WILL SHIT ON YOUR PARENTS!

My tiny bike raises questions about the size of my penis!

Right, today’s rant will be on one of my many pet hates. Today it shall be that most annoying thing to hear at 6am on a Sunday…

Miniature motorbikes. Now I’m not talking about toy ones, I’m talking about these real ones that run on petrol and are about 1/10th the scale of their real equivalents. I can understand children wanting to ride them, but full grown ADULTS? I do not see how a grown person could possibly be expected to be taken seriously after being seen riding one of these things.

Man: I swear Ultra Traffic Warden Squad! This is a real motorbike, not a child’s toy! It makes me look incredibly cool and manly!
Warden #1: Sure buddy. Look ,as soon as I finish this crossword puzzle my colleague here is going to whip out a 12 inch strap-on dildo and arse-rape you to death OK?
Warden #2: I bet you scream real pretty…
.

You want to know how cool these things make you look? I was driving my mother’s purple Nissan Micra (similar to this one) home from work. My mother’s car has a blue plastic dolphin handing from the rear view mirror, a knitted dog hand on one of the side windows in the back, a teddy bear from the other side window. It also has a Tasmanian Devil and a blackcurrant berry cuddly toy on either side of the rear window. Coming the opposite way down the street was a guy of around 5’8” to 6’1” riding one of these mini bikes. I looked ten times cooler than he did.

Biker #1: Aww man, don’t we look so bloody cool on these bikes? It’s like we’re REAL MotoGP racers!
Biker #2: You know what would be really cool? If I was dead.

For God’s sake I’ve seen kids do their paper rounds on these things. THEIR PAPER ROUNDS! WITH THE BAG DRAGGING ALONG ON THE PAVEMENT! WHY HASN’T ANYONE RUN THESE BASTARDS OVER YET? And they make the most annoying high-pitched whirring noise I have ever heard in my life. The damn things are actually ILLEGAL to drive on the roads because they go a maximum of about 10 miles an hour, and you can’t drive them on the pavement either because their a danger to people walking. The only reasons I can thing of for these things being built are:

1) Midget stunt doubles, like the ones used in the massive and overly drawn out highway scene Matrix Reloaded. That entire scene was filmed with Midgets.
2) For the Shriners who just HAVE to be different.
3) Something for the guy in the rubber Godzilla suit to stomp on so he actually looks huge by comparison.
4) So Fido doesn’t have to rely on his master to get him to the park
5) Three words. EXTREME BABY RACING!
6) Beating people over the head with, like Jet Li did in “The One.”

Aside from these, I see no practical use for them. It’s not like you can pop down the shops with them. Even the most highly tuned racing bike has room for at least one bag of Doritos, a DVD case or something. What the hell can you store in these things? A grape? A peanut? A sperm sample? Ew, that’s just sick! Why are you storing sperm in your tiny motorbike you filthy, filthy devil pagan! You disgust me, go take your tiny bike for a long drive off a short cliff!

See you Friday.

Comic will be shaded later.

August 23rd, 2005 | by Virus

For an idea of how completely sexy that will make it look, check out this newly shaded comic of raw sexiness.

#115 – Enter The Penguin

August 23rd, 2005 | by Eastwood

Apparently some dumb sack of shit thinks he can steal EN and claim it as his own. So no, EN isn’t drawn by some shitty little punk called “Shadow” and Eastwood isn’t going to be renamed “AJ” to sate the ego of a pathetic little wanker who thinks he can steal a webcomic that’s been doing the rounds before his stupid little arse ever wound up on the internet. You find these wankers, you’re free to mock them. The guy claiming it as his and his “mates” work has an MSN address of NoGimmicks666@hotmail.com. Go on. Taunt them. Or sign them up to Bavarian Midget Goat Snuff Porn mailing lists.

A titanic thanks to Cthulhu (Nice choice of name, by the way) of our very own forums for finding this vermin. Good to see the fans of this comic are as incensed as we are by these thieves.