Two new pieces of fanart this week, both from Neko of Doom. First a brilliant headshot of Lothar. Second another brilliant headshot, but of Rogue this time. Bloody hell we have a load of fanart 0.o.
Well now I’ve got some really stupid invention to rant about this week, go to this website to see this:
THE ORBITOUCH KEYLESS KEYBOARD!
First of all, you can’t call it a fucking keyboard if it dosen’t have any keys. Thats what a keyboard is. It is a board, with keys on it, ergo KEYBOARD. You don’t call a plank of wood a skateboard until you bung some wheels on it, do you?
Right, now you see those two dome things on the “keyboard”? You make numbers and letters by sliding them into different postions. You can watch a demo of how it works here. Now the thing is, thats 26 different movement combinations you have to memorise for each letter, then you’ve got to memorise then numbers as well, THEN the various combinations for symbols such as @ and * and so forth. Oh and obviously you need to remember slightly different letter combinations for doing captial letters. Now I don’t care how smart you are, that’s gonna take a while to learn and memorise. Oh and all the bloody punctuation marks as well. I don’t see anything on the actual device it self that reminds you of each symbols combination, so you have to memorise it all. At least on a keyboard the fucking “W” key say’s “W” on it so you know what the hell it does.
Also the fact that no way in hell is going to be very fast. I think the world record for typing speed on a keyboard is about 150 words a minute or something (I don’t know for certain and frankly don’t care). I don’t see anyone getting up to that sort of speed on this thing.
And what about the various buttom combinations you do on a keyboard? Such as “Control+Alt+Delete” or “Alt+169″ to get the copyright symbol (©). How the hell do you do those on this thing?
According to the website “The orbiTouch has an integrated mouse, so once you’ve mastered the layout, it’s even easier to use than a traditional keyboard.” I don’t see any damn mouse for a start, and how the hell are you gonna use the mouse when your moving the giant black tit’s to write a letter to your local council. Explaining why you haven’t paid you fucking taxes cos you spent £369 (that’s $695 for you Americans, or 545 Euros for people in continental Europe) on this massive pile of shite? And yes those are the prices taken from the website.
The only people I see being able to use this damn thing at all are porn stars. God knows they have the expierience of moving massive plastic tit’s around.
The thing is supposed to help against Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and other such disabilites. Yeah so do other things, except they don’t look like you killed a hokkerm then ripped off her chest, just to play with her breasts in front of the damn computer.
This does bring an interesting idea into my head, why stop at the keyless keyboard? How about a mouseless mouse? A speakerless speaker. Or how about the super duper hi-tech COMPUTERLESS COMPUTER! Which I have a picture of right here: