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Last week I ranted on the lack of things I wanted to rant about.

September 22nd, 2006 | by Lothar

But here’s something I do want to rant about.

PEOPLE SENDING ME ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS TO RANT ABOUT, INCLUDING THEIR OWN ORIGINAL PIECES OF WRITING


If you’re sending me your own piece of writing just so I can tear it to pieces it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in your ability and subsequently I’m just gonna dump it in my email’s trash bin. OK? Good.

On a more serious and less infuriating note, Qeeko, a dear friend of EN has had some trouble. Basically her computer blew up and it’s going to cost 2000 Australian dollars to fix. The exchange rate on the Australian dollar is really good right now (£1 = $2.5), so I was hoping our fans from across the world could contribute a quid or so each in order to get it fixed…and so she can draw the damn picture she promised me. But be warned, if I get ANY fucking emails from people saying “Oh I’d love to donate but I can’t” I will hunt you down, murder you in your sleep and use your skin to make a nice new leather interior for my dad’s car, complete with a matching set of luggage. It’s not useful at all to hear you say this so don’t bother.

If you can donate however, please click the paypal button below. Thank you very much for your kind donation.


I would go on longer but my fiancé Raquel is visiting for two weeks and is currently upstairs and waiting for me to join her in bed…so we can watch the entire first season of Scrubs on DVD.

Shut up.

Lothar

#165 – Going Medievil

September 22nd, 2006 | by Virus

Heyyyy, we get one update on time and then I’m late again, hoolay.

Well I’m ill. Again. And this time I have a doctor’s note to prove it. Or I would, if they issued one after only two days, but they don’t. Called in sick for work on Wednesday. I’m told that I need a doctor’s note, or they can’t give me sick pay. Company policy. So I make an appointment and trudge to the doctor’s, in the pissing down rain (fun). After arsing about with some paperwork complications, because apparently I’m not on their records any more, the doctor tells me they don’t give notes for only a few days. For the first few days, the employer is supposed to issue a self cert form, or somesuch. It’s only after you miss a week that you need a doctor’s note. That’s the law, I am told. So now what are the bets that work is gonna dick me around, ‘oh it’s home office, not our decision, over our heads’? I guess there’s an easy compromise here: Iceland wants a note. For the doctor to give me a note I need to miss a week. If they really want me to, I can skive for the full week in order to obtain the note. Works for me. I gotta finish Kingdom Hearts before the sequel comes out anyway (yes, Europe is still waiting on that).

Oh, progress report, okay. Despite feeling utterly crappy, I got a few drawings done. Shall we aim for Saturday? Lets.

Virus

#164 – This Is Why You Don’t Divide By Zero

September 15th, 2006 | by Lothar

Yes I know I haven’t done a proper rant in a long while. Due to a combination of me being depressed, work, and being excited that my fiancé Raquel is coming over next week, I’ve been busy and or lazy. Mostly lazy.

So here I am back in my wacky ranting mood and I’m here to rant about…nothing. Yes you heard right. NOTHING. Nothing is pissing me off this week, mostly due to the fact that I’m as giddy as a catholic schoolgirl on bad acid because Raquel is coming over next week. But the fact is that nothing is pissing me off is pissing me off.

That is what you call irony.

Seriously, the fact that Tony Blair is a useless muppet and is stepping down as Prime Minister…which I know a load of Americans who THINK they know a good British Prime Minister when they see one just because he’s Bush’s bum-chum so he must be brilliant. That isn’t pissing me off, nor is the fact I have absolutely no cocking idea who the hell is leading the Conservative Party or the Liberal Democrats. I voted for the latter and now I don’t know who is leading them? Fuck’s sake. But again, that is not pissing me off.

So what does an angry, cynical, overweight and brash individual has nothing to be pissed off about do? Uhm, plays Lego Star Wars 1 and 2…pretty much. The latter being the 360 version. Oh and wait for news about the Nintendo Wii…and laugh at Sony’s absolute shambles of a launch strategy, hard.

Yeah, this isn’t working out as well as I thought. How do you want about nothing? Maybe I should ask…shit I can’t think of a topical reference to ask how to rant about nothing!

Sod this, I need sleep, and black jack, and hookers. In fact forget the sleep and the black jack. Ah screw the whole damn thing (YAY BENDER).

Cya later.

Lothar

#163 – Supersize Dentata

September 8th, 2006 | by Virus

I’ll post more when it’s not 2am with work in the morning.

Edited Monday evening: Right, finished. Went to my Dad’s at the weekend, otherwise the shading would have been done sooner. Done now. Sorry about all that. Should be back on track now. Art block something awful these past couple weeks. Maybe I had forgot how to draw them. I was also rather tired and rather ill, so those probably weren’t helpful factors.

See you next week, when there’s a fighting chance the comic will update on time.

Virus

Burning Crusade

September 1st, 2006 | by Eastwood

Evening peoples.

So, Blizzard and revealing information on the Crusade to all and sundry. There’s the new flying mounts, Armoured Gryphons and Wyvrens so we can all re-enact Top Gun, the Blood Elf and Draeni Mounts, the cockatrice and Elekk/Elephant Thing, there’s the PvP reboot. And of course, the startling revelation that the new raid dungeons in the expansion will all be capped at 25.

The Hardcore Raiding Crowd are screaming like a pile of whiny bitches, and everyone else either doesn’t care, somehow think the new cap will let casual players have a chance, or (Like me) is revelling in the Hardcore Raiding Crowds whinging. It’s a beautiful thing, as after around a year or so of waiting for something that isn’t a 40-man raid dungeon, the expansion is going back to what WoW was apparently promised to be. Apparently. There is of course the 40-man arguments that this will be the end of the world and it’ll suck and they’re cancelling, totally, I’m deleting my character, and I’m off to play Warhammer Online, shit it isn’t out. They’re easily shot down.

We’ll lose 15 of our friends, as they’ll need to be kicked so we have the right number!

Jesus, what a jerk. You’ve 40 people, correct? And you need twenty-five. Why not… just get another ten people? Then you’ll have fifty, which is two twenty-five man raids. I mean, you guys have been howling for the past year or so that getting a raid for the ‘Core isn’t that hard, you just need to get forty people. But now you’re saying another ten people is an impossible, epic task, something even the mightiest of heroes is incapable of.

If you’re still incapable of getting ten people, use a rota system. If that’s too much, you’re not much of a guild. Guilds doing the Core, who haven’t even downed Rag, are capable of rota systems.

It’s pointless, casuals won’t be able to do it anyway!

You’re right here. Casuals won’t. These raids, whilst smaller than Naxxramas, will be harder. Far harder. Everyone will need to know their role, be able to execute it flawlessly, be clanging around in Tier 3, and be willing and able to drop 300+ on repairs. The size means casuals will merely think they can, but they won’t stand a chance. A shame? No. There’s shitloads of five to fifteen man raids coming up, so why worry? The lowered raid cap means the Hardcore Crowd will have to do what the rest of us has had to do since we’ve gotten nothing but dull little events and 40-man raid dungeons… adapt to the shifting game-plan.

We don’t want to adapt!

Well, this is amusing. A guild capable of having Neferian on farm status, of downing C’thun, of being able to progress happily through Naxxramas, is incapable of adapting to the shifting emphasis. I call bullshit.

You don’t want to change? Fair play. No-one says you have to do anything in the game. I don’t enjoy dungeons that much, so I prefer to quest, craft and farm. You state you won’t like the twenty-five man raids, so don’t do them. What’s left? Doing the same “old” content. Welcome to the world of the casual and the soloist, boys. We’ve had to do this since you kept getting all the new content.

We’re going to leave!

Erm, hooray? No-one ever forced you guys to stick around. I’m sure Blizzard is grateful for the fees you paid, and will no doubt wish you good fortune for future endevours. But you are, however, the minority. Even if you’re a quarter, which I doubt, even less would have downed Neferian. And less would have done C’thun. Barely more than a few hundred (Out of six million) would have even seen Kel’thuzad by the Crusade. So by adding a plethora of new content that everyone can access, rather than just the elite few, everyone is happy.

Except, apparently, the hardcore few who feel only they should get anything new, because they somehow think that because they forsake the real world for Azeroth, Blizzard apparently owe them something. Which Blizzard most certainly do not.

I do, however, want iTunes integration with the PC version. Simply so it’s easier for me to listen to Danger Zone when I get my Flying Mount and (Poorly) re-enact Top Gun.

Eastwood – forst shok, lol

Eastwood

#162 – Good Gods!

August 25th, 2006 | by Lothar

First this week, we have some new fan art. Fernex by James. Although I’m pretty sure Fernex has two globe eyes. Though I can’t really remember Virus’s original sketches and it is rather hard to tell from the side on view. Remember, if you have fan art to send us, send it to enfanart[at]gmail.com.

This week I purchased the entire first series of the 90’s Batman cartoon on DVD. Ah the serious-ish noir-ish series of my childhood fills me with joy and urine from sitting and watching it for 4 hours straight without a toilet break. However, one question from the series does arise. Why the fuck is it never daytime in Gotham City?

Seriously, even when he’s out as Bruce Wayne it’s always fucking night time in the city for Batman. I know Batman is supposed to be scary to criminals, but what the hell has the Sun done to be frightened. Did he head butt it? Is that possible?

Well it is Batman so I wouldn’t put it past him.

My other theory is that…you know what? Fuck it. I can’t be arsed moaning about such an inconsequential thing in a wonderful animated cartoon. It’s 11:21pm and I’ve got to be up at fucking seven o’ clock for work. Who the hell created Seven O’ Clock in the morning in the first place? Who came up with this idiotic concept of ‘time’, that dimension where events take place linearly that causes me to have to be up at a certain time of the day and appear at work at a certain time? Can’t we just turn up whenever the hell we please, around noon maybe?

Goddamn fourth dimension.

Lothar

Eh, I’m running late. Here’s the inks.

August 18th, 2006 | by Virus

The finished should go up later tonight. I’ve recently worked out a couple ways that I think cut the production time a little bit. But these god ones take longer than ordinary comics to begin with, so it’s only evened out so far. Hopefully when we’re done with Poker Night, them shortcuts will speed things up a bit. Just a bit. Still takes bloody ages.

Thank you to everybody who emailed. ‘Preciated. I think we’re going to look at some kittens tonight, though they won’t be ready to leave their mother for another week or two. Not that Paws can being replaced or forgotten. But everything is better with kittens.

Le edit: Finished.

Virus

#161 – Mapquest Strikes Out Again

August 18th, 2006 | by Lothar

No rant as I have just learned that some little fuckshit is posing as me. If you get an email from lotharhex@hotmail.com, it IS NOT ME. It’s some little retarded shit head who thinks EMAILING ME AT MY REAL FUCKING EMAIL ADDRESS won’t get noticed when he’s put my real name in the bloody thing. So…I dunno, someone spam his hotmail account with gay porn/beastiality or something.

Edit: I just received an email from the person who created that false account.

“hey! i wasnt tryin 2 pose as u when i used yre email account.*i guess i wuz
bien sort of a bitch*. but it still wasnt cool 4 u 2 jus go n talk all tht
shit about me………..i didnt expec u 2 look at it tht way. i used u cuz i
wuz tryin 2 cum up wid som1 cul…………..bu i wuzn tryin 2 imprsinate
u………………..”

Does anybody here speak the fucking nonsense? I think there are some English words in there but they’re hidden by ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Oh and his email is nba_balla9999@hotmail.com. Have fun!

Lothar

Dead Rising of the Rings

August 11th, 2006 | by Eastwood

Evening, peoples.

Got a load of new fanart up tonight, including a variety of Eastwood based stuff by Xue. Xue worries me, if some of those pics are to go by. That said, it’s a rarity there are pics of Eastwood where he isn’t being mauled, or being a cunt, so I guess it’s just the idea of something new.

Anyway, with the imminent UK release of Dead Rising, I’ve been dabbling with modifying the Lord of the Rings rules to play zombie horror. The beauty is, the game itself is a brilliant piece of skirmish design, and lends itself to heroic skirmish combat, hence the innumerable number of attempts at a Star Wars modification. So swapping the Good for the Living and the Evil for the Dead, throwing in rules for Survivors and the Rotting Dead, and giving ranged weapons a bit more bite.

The beauty of it, however, is that the core rules are still the same. So you can have Gandalf fighting hordes of flesh-hungry zombies.
When there’s a solid version of the rules ready, I’ll post a link up.

Eastwood – Exalt the Regent, female compliment

Eastwood

Filler: A Pause For Paws

August 11th, 2006 | by Lothar

No comic today as Virus’s beloved pet has died. Sorry to here this mate.

Lothar
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