#057 – The Best Laid Plans

August 27th, 2004 | by Lothar

And thus ends the shortest EN adventure ever. You know panel two looks EXACTLY like how I imagined it? That Virus is a genius I tell you, genius.

Does anyone want a second Exterminatus Now comic this week? Because if you do all you have to do is head to Gamestyle.net and download their free magazine, “Gamestyle Offline” issue eight. Inside you will find reviews (different from those on the site) news previews a brand new retro section, along with a special instalment of Exterminatus Now created specially for the magazine.

What shall I be doing while you’re downloading it you ask? I’ll be playing Sonic Advance 3, which I picked up today, while waiting for Rainbow Six: Black Arrow to be delivered so I can play on it Xbox Live. Speaking of Sonic Advance 3, it sets a new standard for stupid boss ideas. A giant hammer that swings from side to side? A giant wheel? ROBOT FEET? Ok the “swinging ball and chain” boss from Sonic 1 was dumb, but at least it doesn’t look like something created by a crack addict.

Mind you, considering the game is Japanese (Ok so was Sonic 1 but that’s beside the point) I should not expect less. Ah Japan, where they have 3 taps on their kitchen sinks, “hot”, “cold” and “warm crack.” Again, not that I would expect anything else from the country where you can buy panties from vending machines (bet you most of their customers are male). The age of consent (that’s the age you can start fucking from, kiddies) is thirteen and GANG RAPE was only made illegal within the last year or so.

Well that’s enough random blather from me this week, laters.

Lothar

So your lifestyle is decided by faceless corporations?

August 22nd, 2004 | by Lothar

Welcome to humanity.

Lothar

Right-o, it’s up.

August 21st, 2004 | by Virus

Ah, dammit. It sucks putting up the temporary pic. ‘Cause the real comic replaces with the same filename, and people end up loading from their cache and then emailing ’cause they still can’t see the comic. If you understood that, you probably know what to do. For everybody else – If the comic isn’t showing, hold down Ctrl and hit Refresh.

Fun fact: About a week ago, I came across Prelude to Foundation by Isaac Asimov on one our shelves, in a random search for reading material. Never having read any Asimov before, I thought I’d give it a bash. It wasn’t until skimming the list of his other titles and noticing I, Robot, that it suddenly clicked that the recent film was an adaptation of a book by said author. I guess I already knew that, but I never really realised it until that moment. I wonder, did my subconscious lead me to that book, having been influenced by trailers for the movie on TV? Strange.

Virus

This post brought to you by FedEX

August 21st, 2004 | by Lothar

MORE bloody fan art. Do you people draw ANYTHING else? Not that I’m complaining.

First up is The Four Stooges by Moogly Guy. You know what? I have NEVER seen the Three Stooges in my lifetime. Hell I don’t think it has ever been shown on British TV. Correct me if I am wrong.
Second is The Inquistion Wants You, by Raptor Shadow. I want some booze personally, but whatever floats your boat.

Saw the film “I, Robot” this week, and though it was a pretty damn good film. However, as I’m sure most of you that saw it noticed, the product placement advertising goes WAY over the top.

Example:
Old Bitch: Look at those shoes.
Naked Will Smith: Converse, Vintage 2004.

Cue extreme close up on shoes. And then the JVC CD Player before Will Smith drives off in his Audi. WHICH EVERYONE IN THE DAMN FILM DRIVES.

Oh and Will Smith get’s a package from a FedEx robot:

FedEx robot: Good day sure, ANOTHER on time delivery from FedEx!

For the love of all things violent I so wanted to rip that fucking robot’s head off. Despite this, it is a good film if you ignore the product placement, which isn’t exactly that easy. Theres a decent plot hidden under all that corporate whoring.

Lothar

Comic’s bein a bastard.

August 20th, 2004 | by Virus

And it’s doin it on purpose. The bastard.

I gotta start drawing more crap more often. I swear I’m losing whatever tenuous grip I had on anything resembling ‘skill’.

Don’t mind me, I’m just bitching. Indulge me, I’m an artist (so they tell me). Expect the comic later today when I’m over myself. *sleeps*

Virus

#056 – Go Ahead, JUMP!

August 20th, 2004 | by Eastwood

Looks like it’s me again…

Legion89 (10:21:16 PM): Anyway, looking forward to the next EN.
Eastwood1427 (10:22:17 PM): Oh yeah, that’s tommorow isn’t it?
Legion89 (10:22:23 PM): Ya.
Legion89 (10:22:27 PM): I mean, ja.
Eastwood1427 (10:22:31 PM): …Bum clouds.

So yeah. Another week full of fun and merrymaking. Well. I had a haircut, finished three books (Indlucing the sublime Double Eagle by the god-like Dan Abnett), and get paid lovely cash-money tommorow (Which is Friday. As I type this, it’s 10:27 Thursday evening). That’s about it. And since I’m a lazy deadbeat, my results for my AS exams will be coming through the post. So I should get the sometime next March.

Right, bugger off. I’m going to bed.

Eastwood

#055 – Redfox Gets Flamed

August 13th, 2004 | by Lothar

Don’t bug us to put you in a comic, all right? Oh and apologies to RedFox, love ya buddy.

Three new pieces of fan art this week. The first piece is of the entire Exterminatus Now crew by Sachika, click here to see it.. As Bob Todd of the Gamestyle forums would say. “IT AM WOO!”

The second piece is from “amaroqkapuzing”. Who I think was on drugs when she came up with that name. It is off Virus and Blasphemy and can be seen here. It also “AM WOO”.

The third piece is by Tails_Trulli. It is of Lothar, you can see it here. It is also “WOO”.

Also, while I’m here I’m gonna pimp my mate (also from Gamestyle) Sprite Machine’s comic Start Wreck. A Star Trek parody comic which is funny.

Ok I have a little announcement to anyone who jump’s on the Anti-Microsoft bandwagon, which started up again after Bill Gates said if he had the opportunity he would consider buying Nintendo. The rest of you can ignore this next part. Also take note that I own a GameCube a GameBoy Advance SP and an Xbox.

I am fucking SICK of EVERYONE getting on the “Bash Microsoft” bandwagon. You act as like other companies are somehow different. NEWSFLASH EVERY COMPANY IS EXACTLY LIKE MICROSOFT, INCLUDING NINTENDO. THEY ALL WANT TO MAKE MONEY.

And don’t give me that “Nintendo care about their fans, Microsoft don’t” bullshit. Microsoft and Nintendo see their fans as a means to make money. They do it by treating em decently. If a company treat’s you like crap you are not gonna buy from it. And guess what, Nintendo treat Europe like crap.

They don’t release some games over here that people want, or delay them for fucking ages. Example, Animal Crossing is coming to Europe sometime near the end of 2004. It’s been out in America and Japan, what two years? Or Mario Golf, that’s only been out here in the UK for about a month while it’s been out in the America for over a year and is now on the Player’s Choice range there.

Because of crap like this hardly anyone in Europe buys Nintendo’s stuff, they are losing money because they are treating their fans like crap. They are also lagging behind in the USA because the PS2 and and Xbox are more popular and are selling better than the GameCube.

It’s just that Microsoft is far better at doing business than other companies. Also note, Gates just said “If the opportunity arose”. And if they could buy Nintendo, who wouldn’t? If you had the opportunity to buy I bet you would too.

And let’s face it Microsoft could buy Nintendo in a second. They’d just walk up to them with one of those HUGE novelty cheques. Ask Nintendo to think of the biggest number they can, add 3 more zero’s to the end, and then they would write it down. You’d all bitch and moan about it at first, but then you’d go and buy an Xbox 2 or whatever to play your precious Mario and Zelda.

Also I would like to point out that it is because of Microsoft and “the evil Bill Gates” that a lot of you can actually access the Internet and use computers. Bill Gates is a businessman and a very good one at that, you cannot say he isn’t. Also you’re not being clever by jumping on the “I HATE BILL GATES, MICROSOFT IS EVIL” bandwagon. THIS is what you are acting like:

Maybe I should start talking to you all in your native language?

“Baa baa baa bababa baba baaa baaa baa baa.”

And as East says if Bill Gates is so evil? Why does he give shit-loads of money to charity?

Lothar

Manhunt controversy

August 6th, 2004 | by Lothar

I’m sure most people have heard about the Manhunt controversy here in the UK. Where a 17 year old killed a 14 year old because he was apprantly obsessed with the game.

However it turns out that the game was owned by the 14 year old, most likely his parents bought him it, and that the killer wanted to rob the kid to pay off a drugs debt.

The Daily Mail, the most extreme right wing newspaper in the UK, ignored police reports that said about 17 times that Manhunt and the murders were not connected. To the UK Media, hahahahahahaha, you fucking suck, hahahahahahaha.

Not that this will get them to retract their stories or print apologies to Rockstar or anything. Though this will probably get that lawsuit against Sony and Rockstar thrown out the window. Just goes to show you that the lawyer and parents did not give a SHIT about their dead sons hobby, they just wanted money. Fucking bastards.

Lothar

Using my time effectively

August 6th, 2004 | by Virus

With the lack of art this week, you’d think I’d've had time to put together, oh, I don’t know, a wallpaper or something. Well you’d be wrong! Hahahaha! *plays Majora’s Mask some more*

Virus

Before anyone asks, yes, I did draw panels 1-3 this week.

August 6th, 2004 | by Lothar

So now you see that I have the same amount of talent with art as a zombie has a talent for ruling the country.

“Murr, this new..brains of the living tax…burr..brains.”

New fan art this week by Alex-The-Cat. That Blasphemy is a popular little bastard isn’t he?

Ok to be honest I don’t have an update planned for this week, or rather I do but I simply cannot be fucking arsed to type one. Don’t like it? Tough. This comedy malarkey is harder than it looks you know. So now I am reduced to talking about some old shit barely anyone cares about.

Not that much different from every other week then I guess.

I’ve been reading up on Warhammer, considering I am the ONLY member of EN who is not into in some way, shape, or form I figure I better at least read some of the background and maybe a book or two. It is really quite interesting; I especially find how the way humanity has degenerated into what is essentially a load of Nazis in space, interesting.

Space Nazis? For some reason I have this image in my head of Hitler riding a rocket around the cosmos, throwing propaganda and Swastikas at alien worlds. Then the aliens going “Dude what the fucking hell was that?”
“I dunno, but we better hurry if we wanna catch the five o’clock probing at the Probe-O-Dome!”

Probe-O-Dome. I seriously question the inner workings of my brain sometimes.

Also been reading some Doom 3 Reviews since it’s out in America now and out in the UK next Friday. Seems it’s the gaming equivalent of Marmite (BRITISH POP-CULTURE REFERENCE/IN-JOKE ALERT), you either love it or hate it. By the way, if anyone cares, I doubt I’ll be getting Doom 3. I like FPS and all but it seems while the technology of Doom 3 has moved on, the core gameplay hasn’t. That said this is just reading reviews, so meh. But I think I’ll keep looking forward to Halo 2 and try not to get swept up in the hype. Which in the gaming world is about as easy as being an evil henchmen in a James Bond movie and NOT being shot/beaten up/electrocuted/blown up/strangled/throw to various man-eating beasts/sexed up (apply only if female henchmen…I mean person…woman…thing. Whatever.)

Lothar