Exterminatus Now -

#054 – Sketchbook Comedy

August 6th, 2004 | by Eastwood

So.
Another week passes by, and yet more wonderous things have happened in the wonderous world of… of… Erm… Yeah. Namely the fact the comic is up, I’m updating, and I got into the Dawn of War Beta. And y’know what? It fecking rocks.

But why? Simple. It’s a decent RTS, for one, and for another… it’s based on 40k. Ergo, it is the win. Especially with orkish hordes (Who are blessed with the greatest voice acting ever), but Chaos is fun too (Like summoning Bloodthirsters) and Marines are okaaay (Just they lack anything fun except Drop-Podding five Dreadnoughts into an enemy base, which does get old) and Eldar are just too bloody good. So Relic have successfully reproduced 40k in digital format, then.

Release is sometime this Winter… I’ve got my copy pre-ordered.

~ Eastwood, ‘ez got da fightin’ jooce.

The art of Blasphemy

July 30th, 2004 | by Virus

Fanarts: Blasphemy has two pieces already – is that indicative of his popularity, or is he just easy to draw I wonder? ;) Either way, there’s one by K-A-E, and another by Background Bailey. And then Raye, eeeevil creature that she is, provides this pic entitled “Pimpin’” … Yeah, uh, I’ll decline to comment XD

Also, added a cast page photo for Virus.

Oh and I’m 21 on Monday. Yay n’ stuff.

#053 – Don’t Worry, He’s Armless

July 30th, 2004 | by Eastwood

Bwah.
Cower brief mortals, for I have comnadeered the update page for my own neferious purposes! Bwah! And ha! And ha again!

Yeah. Too much Monkey Island. Too much Murray. Huzzah for Murray.

Yes, despite the fact I never do this, I’m trying to cut it brief as I’m tired and sweaty. So I’ve been dabbling in various things, picked up some DVDs and some kick-arse new games (Monkey Island 3 and 4 and Spid-erman 2*, respectively) so I’ve been occupied. Also been playing some funky point/click games by the masterful Ben “Yahtzee” Crowshaw, 5 Days a Stranger and 7 Days a Skeptic can be found on his site, Fully Ramblomatic. Whilst yout there, check out the Cowboy Comics, Angular Mike and the amazingly funny Yahtzee Takes On The World. A very clever, very funny man.

But does that end the horrendous plugging? Nein!

Rapid Hearts, a Sonic/Mina fansite set up by the ever-wonderful HarumikoChan has gone online. Despite having donated money, I’m still having to link it. So, if by any chance you’re someone who actually reads Archie Sonic (And for that you have my deepest sympathies) and are a SonMina fan-girl/fan-boy/fan-eldergod, go take a look. Though, please, if you have any comments about Archie, SonMina or anything of that sort… Please. Don’t post it on our forums. There’s only a tiny chance we really care, as none of us read Archie and at least two of us hate it with a passion (Despite the fact I have a stack of them around somewhere), so go tell the carbon-based bipeds over at Rapid Hearts what you think. or even what you don’t. I dunno, I’m just plugging this for a close friend.
In other, minor news, I’ve pre-ordered Halo 2 Special Edition. Have you?

That just about wraps it up then. I’ll be seeing you buggers around.

~ Harold Q. Eastwood, rolling through the gates of Hell.

*That’s just to annoy Lothar, and other Spidey fanboys. :p

Periodically Chaotic

July 24th, 2004 | by Virus

I updated my art site, Perfectly Chaotic. That, to make an understatement, doesn’t happen very often, so I shall be an attention-whore and post about it on here. Did some Invader Zim fanart, because Invader Zim doth rock. Wallpaper versions are available at Perfectly Chaotic, if you feel so inclined ^^

#052 – Schaefer Chickens Out

July 23rd, 2004 | by Lothar

To answer any question’s following this comic.

1) Yes this is the same Commander Schaefer with the chicken fetish mentioned in this comic.
2) Yes the Chao’s name is now BLASPHEMY. You can stop calling it Humphrey now, at least you better.

Now for MORE fanart. Fucking hell we’ve got a shitload now. The first piece is by Calli, titled “Exterminatus Now Sleep Time”, with the most feminine looking Eastwood ever (he said it, not me). The second piece is from Dragga, Lothar drawn in MS paint, quite well. The third piece is some sketch art of Lothar by Beverly Hutchings. Enjoy.

On Wednesday, I bought Super Mario Advance 4 (aka Super Mario Bros 3), it’s the first proper Mario game I’ve ever bought apart from Super Mario Sunshine. Which was absolutely shit and boring, I think I got 30% completion and stopped playing. Whereas Advance 4 is fun and enjoyable.

Anyway, anybody ever noticed that Mario is a massive drug user? Seriously. Look at all the thing’s he collect’s in this game. Brown leaves, red plants, Mushrooms, and so on. Let’s see what we have in Super Mario Advance 4:

Mushrooms: The more obvious one. Mario consumes this and becomes taller. Gets “high” as it were. These are “Magic Mushrooms” both in the world of Mario and in the literal sense.

Leaves: You know those brown leaves mario gets and turns into Racoon Mario? Majiuana. He runs and jumps so he can fly. Aka gets a rush and gets high. I’m so witty.

Red Plants: Psychotropic plants that make Mario think he can shoot fireballs from his fingertips. This may also show that Mario has some pyromaniac tedencies. Just imagine him saying “BURN THE INFIDELS” when playing and you’ll see what I mean.

Frog Suit: It’s not a frog. It’s one of those toad’s you lick and start hallucinating. Simple, no?

The Racoon Suit: OK…now because of all these drug’s I believe Mario has developed a furry fetish. You know that small branch of furries who dress up as bears and have sex? That also weird me out something fierce? Yes those. Ok and before I get any angry emails from the “furry” community, take note I said “small branch” of your community. Also if they want to dress up as animals and fuck, fine they can if they want. Just like I can think it’s weird if I want, OK? Good.

And think about it, if he is on all these drugs. Maybe the Mushroom Kingdom does not exist. Its just some massive drug induced hallucination. And all those animals and crap Mario kills in the game. They are people. So basically because of all these drugs mario is the biggest serial killer of all time. He’s still in Brooklyn and is currently being hunted down by the police who keep missing him cos he keeps jumping on their heads and snapping their necks.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

#051 – Chao Not So Bella

July 16th, 2004 | by Lothar

If you didn’t see this coming, you obviously haven’t been paying attention to our banner. Also, and for GOD’S SAKE LISTEN THIS TIME. The Chao’s name is NOT Humphrey. I’m sick of getting emails about it!

Spider-Man 2 was out in the UK today (Thursday 15th) and I was going to see it today, but my mate Will lost our fucking tickets that he won in a radio contest. So we’re going next week, possibly this Sunday. Anyway to keep my Spidey buzz going I got the Spider-Man 2 Xbox game, and this got me thinking. What if Peter Parker was bitten by something other a genetically modified/radioactive spider? Here are a couple of scenarios.

Dung Beetle-Man: After being bitten by a radioactive Dung Beetle, Peter Parker leads an exciting life of rolling car sized balls of dog shit around New York, and eating them. After doing it so well he land’s a job as New York’s chief of dog-shit disposal. He make’s millions of dollars working for the local government but leads a life of total loneliness. Seriously, the guy’s works around and eats shit everyday, you think any girl’s gonna wanna hang out with him? Unless they have an extremely creepy fetish and have a face like the back end of a donkey with haemorrhoids.

Preying Mantis-Man: This short dramatisation will explain this scenario.

Peter: I love you Mary Jane!
Mary Jane: I love you too Peter!
They then have sex, after which Peter eats Mary Jane. He adopts the name Hannibal Lecter and start’s devouring people’s livers with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Shetland Pony-Man: With the amazing power to be smaller than the average horse he enters all the animal shows, but doesn’t win any, because he’s a crap horse.

Pope-Man: After being bitten by a radioactive Pope. Peter discovers he has the power of the Pope. Which basically entails being very old, having trouble going up and down stairs, and having the weird urge to be driven around everywhere in a car with a bubble on the back for him to stand in and wave to people.

Before I go, our US navy fangirl Junichan is shipping out in the next two days and won’t be back for an undisclosed amount of time. So I’d just like everyone to wish her a safe voyage and to get back soon.

Also, Juni, if your passing the UK, would you see if you can blow up Maragret Thatchers house? As a personal favour to me?

LATER!

So.

July 9th, 2004 | by Virus

Anybody actually check the comic at midnight GMT? No? Good, that’s what I thought. It’s been a few hours late the past few times, and, nocturnal as I am, it’s likely to stay that way. I might just turn the auto update off. And comics will be up whenever, sometime in the early hours of Friday mornings.

#050 – Your Pet Is (For) Fetching

July 9th, 2004 | by Lothar

Lothar’s a bastard ain’t he?

New fanart this week from Mr O.M.A of The Rogue’s Gallery fame, who I would like to point out is a git. Click to see The Golden Boxers Award.

Also a big welcome to you if your coming from the ad on NuklearPower.com, and from the linkage off Elijah and Azuu. Hope you like what you see and keep coming back.

Apprantly this is our 50th comic…..How the hell did that happen?

No rant at the moment as I’m typing this because I realised I forgot to type a newspost like 5 minutes before the comic is due up. So I’m bloody tired and can’t be arsed coming up with something even vaguely entertaining to type here. Maybe when I’ve had some sleep I’ll do a proper update tommorow.

Later.

Update, July 9th 9:40 am: Nope, didn’t think of one damn thing to type about. Bugger.

Another little tidbit about Junichan.

July 3rd, 2004 | by Lothar

She’s a sailor in the USA Navy and is currently serving aboard the USS Kitty Hawk, an aircraft carrier. I find that rather cool.

We got some fanart… an indeterminate period of time ago.

July 2nd, 2004 | by Virus

Uh, it did get put up on the fanart page some time midweek between updates. I never announced it here though. Now I am. Thanks Junichan! Yes, ph33r my lack of organisational skills. I get there in the end.